Friday Update

Another short post, have a lot going on right now. We have hit quite a few bumps in the first week of homeschooling – primarily, finding the time between everything else to actually do the lessons. Inspections, errands, cooking, cleaning, spending time with friends (our best friends are leaving in about a week and a half) – all of this seems to throw off our groove and take up a lot of our time.

I’m going to try and play catch-up this weekend and next week, hopefully find a groove and a rhythm for this whole thing. I’m going to take some pictures of our progress this weekend, and I really hope to get going with this. I just need to prioritize our time.

Why does life always have to take a turn when new projects and stuff is started. I’m so lost right now, and I have very little support from those closest to me. I floundering with my head barely above the waves, but the kelp is wrapping around my ankles and trying to drag me down. I’m so scared.

I’ll keep everyone posted on how it all goes. Also, I’ll post the Prologue for the Alphabet portion of Bran and Bryn’s adventures – sometime this weekend.

Homeschooling Update

On Monday we did the first Main Lesson for Form Drawing (straight lines), and I read the secular story of Saint George (not sure I liked it though, I might look at the non-secular one tonight and see how I like it). Sunstone – and Moonstone – practiced their form drawing (Moonstone wants to do everything her big brother is doing, and honestly, I don’t see anything wrong with her doing a fair few of the activities, though they are a bit above her level – if she has one, why the hell not?!)

Yesterday was a bust – we didn’t seem to get anything done except the handcraft activity, which was a Sit-Upon (a pillow). We finished those up today, along with the prologue for Bran and Bryn’s Alphabet Quest.

I also finished sewing the Gnomes cloaks and hats, as well as Bran and Bryn’s cloaks. The peg dolls are finished, for now.

I’ll write up a more detailed post about our adventure thusfar later on this week, once we have completed everything. I’ll even post pictures!

It’s Really Real…

Oh, dear god… We start schooling on Monday.

I am so frazzled.

We also have an inspection for the apartment that day. We are doing our Imbolc cleaning, getting everything taken care of and making sure the house looks good for the inspection… I finished the kitchen today – well, nearly finished the kitchen, I still have to finish the bar-counter and do some spot cleaning.

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2016 Goals (UPDATED)

I was inspired by Kaar to create some, hopefully, attainable goals for this year. These seem like a lot of goals, and a glance they really are – but most of them are tied into each other, in one way or another. Many of the Hearth/Home, Homeschooling, and Health goals are connected to each other in the concept of RHYTHM – establishing a rhythm will benefit all the areas. The curriculum we chose for Sunstone will get me moving, get me out of the house (nature walks!), and therefore will help me to further my progress toward my Health goals. I am nervous about what sits before me, and a part of me feels rather apprehensive about what I have outlined below, but I know that they are all attainable within a years time. I can do this.

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101 Followers?

I just wanted to give you all a quick little shout out and say thank you for following my blog. It really means a lot to know that people come here, read my work, and choose to follow and see what else I put out there. I know sometimes I fall off the face of the planet, but I am going to work on getting better at writing a few times a week (and actually keep it going). Again, I just wanted to say THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT. YOU FREAKING ROCK!

Fear

I know that fear is healthy, especially when you are starting something new. It is healthy to feel apprehension about something, because that is a part of our learning process, it is an instinct that keeps us safe, but it can also be paralyzing. I wasn’t feeling fear when my husband left for basic training, because I am not afraid of being alone, I am not afraid of handling things on my own – I hate that he is so far away, and that I barely get to talk to him, and that he is going through some tough shit right now with the army, and I am scared of what might happen if he doesn’t make to/through basic training, but I do not feel fear of him being gone. I got this. I am strong. I can homeschool, and keep a clean(ish) house, and I can work on getting my online storefront ready. I can do this.

But right now, the fear is real. No lie. I have this anxiety building in my stomach. Are we ready to homeschool? But I don’t have this, or that – oh, Sunstone needs this for his lesson! What about this? Or that? … I don’t feel prepared. I feel like such a newb, and I am so scared. What makes me think we can do Waldorf inspired homeschooling when I was recommended to be held back in a Waldorf school?! What makes me think I can teach my son any better than the teachers at an established public school? I don’t have training!

Right now, I am working on a set of stories to give Sunstone a deeper understanding of the vowels and language in general. He has the basics down, thanks to public school – he knows the vowels, knows his letters, and can read little bits (but he gets very frustrated with reading, so I am hoping this deeper understanding will help to alleviate some it). I am also finishing up a set of Math Gnomes for when we start our Math Block.

But is it enough? Is it too much? What about the schooling area? Is Moonstone’s Frozen table really a good learning table? Should we have wood bowls and plates? What about playsilks and wooden toys? Nature table or tray?

I am scared. I am nervous. I am ready to start this, but at the same time I don’t feel ready at all. We are all so excited about February 1st, when we had decided to start schooling. I am grateful that we live in a state with pretty relaxed homeschooling laws. I can pretty much do whatever I want as long as we touch on the core subjects. I have a First Grade curriculum that is amazing (and so easy to tweak and add to).

I know that I need to do some inner work, do some reflection and have some time to myself to really focus on the root of the feelings I am dealing with. But trying to find the time right now is such a pain.

Something I need to realize, and accept, is that I am not everyone else. I am not calm, I am not peaceful – I yell, I get angry, I hide in my room for days on end, I just can’t even on some things. I am me, and all I can do is be the best me I can be for myself and my husband and my kids. I can work on myself, but I will always have a temper, I will always have to deal with anxiety and being an introvert, and I will always cuss like a fucking sailor. But I am ok with that – deep down, I know that I am ok with the negative things in my personality.

I just need to stop worrying, because in the end, we will all learn what works best and what needs to be discarded. We will figure it all out.

The Alphabet

So, we are going to be using the Earthschooling curriculum for first grade, and we are starting with the August lessons (the very beginning of the academic year, the month deals with Language Arts and getting into the rhythm of school). I like some of the stories offered in the curriculum, but some of the verses, and the delivery, are lacking. Because of this, I decided to give Bran and Bryn some more face time with the kids, and they will be going on a quest to obtain all 26 symbols, place them in a magical book, and keep Wisdom in the world. The finished product will be The Tales of Bran and Bryn: The Alphabet. The tale is inspired, highly, by The Wise Enchanter by Shelley Davidow. The letters themselves will still be introduced by the tales and in the order provided by the curriculum (at least if I like the stories), but they will be introduced in the context of Bran and Bryn’s quest.

Bran and Bryn’s first symbols will be A and E (AH and EH). The book will not be in alphabetical order, so in its final form it will not work for traditional school (however, I don’t doubt that the resourceful Waldorf homeschoolers out here in Blogging Land, will be able to modify and adjust the stories to fit their needs).

I just finished the Prologue and AH-The Vowel of Wonder, and am starting to work on EH-The Vowel of Balance. I will post the tales each week, with the artwork that goes along with it (both my feeble attempt at chalkboard drawings, Sunstone’s MLB, and whatever else we decided to draw, paint, or make).

I’ve also written some verses for the vowels (currently need to work on EE and OO) with suggestions for movement/eurythmy for each line.

As you can plainly tell, I am super excited about this. I am anxious about not being prepared, but I am so ready to start! I am going to introduce the vowels with a story starting on Monday (last week of January) – the story is provided with the curriculum, and is called The Golden Key-Rainbow Colors. I will read it to the kids while we drink our chamomile tea before bedtime. It is a really long story, so it will work for the entire week, and then on the first day of school, we will read the Prologue I wrote.

I will leave you all for now, I have to work on these tales!

Oh, as a side note, I got some wooden People from Hobby Lobby and painted them yesterday! I have the Math Gnomes done, and I even made one of Bran and one of Bryn! I will post some pictures once I have their capes and other accessories finished!

I Do….

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We said “I Do” on October 16th, 2015. We met November 3rd 2014. I married my best friend, my partner, my twin flame. I waited for years to finally meet him, but I never thought we would be here. He is going off to BCT for the Army in the middle of November, right before the most stressful and nerve-wracking time of year – the Holidays. I am not prepared to spend this first holiday season as a married couple apart, but I have close friends and family, and in-laws that approve of me and my children, so that should be alright.

Every morning I wake up and see his face, and know that he is mine forever. We will make it through every obstacle, over every hurdle, and through the flames that may rise around us. I am still in awe of the fact that I am married, that I have found my partner, the person I will spend my life with. We share values on key issues, and when we disagree (we may argue and fight), we communicate in the end and figure out if there needs to be a compromise. He is the world to me and my kids, and we are the world to him.

I am still freaking out and excited. The wedding wasn’t much of a ceremony, we just did it outside our apartment and my soul-sister was the officiator (she was feeding her infant while going through it). We signed the papers and we were married. We are planning on having a real ceremony and exchange of vows when he gets out of BCT and AIT, which will be around this time next year.

Things are changing for our little family, good changes and scary changes, but I see brightness in our futures.

Nature

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On 08/09/2015, we headed out to the San Pedro Riparian National Conservation Area. Ever since I was a little girl, I have needed at least one day a week dedicated to getting back to nature. It brings me a sense of balance, which is necessary in my life. I cannot get the same sense of harmony while I am in town – it just doesn’t work, there is too much noise, too much motion, too much metal; too much man.

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HL’s 2nd Birthday

On Saturday, Sly held a birthday party for her daughter, HL. A little history: HL was put into CPS protective custody because of a lot of things her birth mother did that were really wrong. Her birth mother was definitely not ready for the responsibility of a child – I don’t think she understood what she was getting herself into, seeing as her first child was also taken away from her and is with Sly’s oldest daughter. Angel would bring HL over to Sly on a daily basis because she couldn’t handle taking care of the baby; Angel wanted to do everything else except take care of her daughter. Finally, after taking a baby, who was only about 2 months old, into the front seat of a car without a carseat, CPS got involved. Sly has cared for HL since she was born – before she was born, really, she was buying and providing food, shelter, clothing, and everything else Angel might need, and for HL too.

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